No matter how much I try, I can’t erase the memories of you, us. I should’ve not told you to leave. I just want you to hold me again. 

3:14am

I miss you. And lately, it seems to be “easier” when I’m distracted to pretend that I’m okay. I guess you can say I’m suppressing it all– the good and the bad. I just want it to all fade away because remembering us, you hurts too much. I’m trying to numb myself of every remnant of you. 

It’ll seem that I’m moving on too fast, or that my feelings for you weren’t true. But the truth is, I love you and I can’t bare with the pain. So I’m making stupid decisions to feel something else. I’d rather be mad at myself for making a stupid decision than spend restless nights thinking about how we’re no longer together. 

As much as it hurts to end on a good note so soon, I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if I held you back from your aspirations. I wish I could be selfish and ask you to stay with me, but we’re young and that’d be too much to ask from you. 

I want to be friends with you, but I don’t know if I can let you go while I’m still holding on to you. I hope it’s possible for us to still be friends. Although I’m hopeful for us, I’m afraid that we’ll lose each other. 

Regardless of whatever happens, I hope you know that I will always love you. 

Damn. I fucking miss these two. ♥

Here’s a fairly recent picture of myself that is worth publicizing. One: This was taken around January at Berkeley. Two: Yes, I am wearing a flamingo. Be jealous. Three: Don’t take my facial expression seriously. I was trying to be funny, and I may have failed miserably depending on whoever sees this. Four: Hat stores are ridiculously awesome! Five: I know. I’m talking too much. Enjoy!

(Credits: My homeguuurl Joy ♥)

jomajomaa:

A self portrait of Trisha & a friend of hers. 

(Source: wlgyl)

I’d like to be carried with the wind now.

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periniziare:

Grateful is all I could say. Past weeks…months, I’ve been pretty lonely I’d say. But I had work & my siblings to keep me company which I enjoy. Tonight made up for all the months and weeks in which I was “lonesome” Trisha always comes to our Xmas parties, but tonight was different…I had so much fun. We had such a blast I began to have the “feels” on the car ride home. I’m just really thrilled for Trisha’s presence, I’m more than happy she’s here. I’m completely blessed to have such a lovely half sister and full time friend such as her.

periniziare:

Missing her more than ever…

College. What an experience it is so far.

i mean i guess i can let jerrel use my laptop